Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
