I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
