i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
