i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
