That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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