i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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