So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
