brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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