Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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