Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize