I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
