I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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