i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Found your dick twin last night
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
