saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize