she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
