WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
