there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
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i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.