So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
