So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and she was petting her beer can
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
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I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Of course I have a pirate flag
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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