So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?