My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?