think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
