Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
