Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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