Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
