I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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