one two three fourrrrnication!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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