i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
