My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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