My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
