batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
