i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
