Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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