just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
