Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
