This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
