I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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