I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
