i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
