She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize