I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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