This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
