there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
