I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
