I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
