I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
