dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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