Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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