i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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