So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
