1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
