Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize