I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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