hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
