McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
