eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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