Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize