I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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