Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
