I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize