what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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