yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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