so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
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no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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