Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
