I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
