A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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