She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Terrible idea I love it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
