Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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